♪ We’ll move on ♪ (soda spewing and gurgling) – Quit. Stop it, stop it, stop it, quit. Seriously, quit that mess. Quit! Being yourself.
(soda explodes softly) Why do you do these things? (coughs) I’m sorry, what? (bottle splurges) Okay. I heard you that time. (soda fizzing) Stop it.
(whimpering) Oh noooooo Who dropped you as a child? (soda fizzing softly) I like Diet Coke. I don’t drink it ’cause it causes Alzheimer’s, so that’s why I don’t drink Coke, ’cause it causes Alzheimer’s. Oh, what? (soda spraying) Drink too warm?
(scoffs) Sure. No, the temperature was fine. It was just the whole Mount Kilimanjaro Diet Coke in my mouth. Why are you doing that? (ice cubes clattering) (soft music) (materials clattering) Where are my scissors?
(whispering) Are you okay? Where are my scissors? Oh, your legs fainted. (lights tumbling) (whispers) Where are my scissors? – [Alexa] According to Wikipedia, scissors are no no no various thin materials.
– Shut up.
(whispering) Did you take my scissors? – [Alexa] Sorry, I’m not sure. – Hmm. How do you not know?
Last chance. Where the scissors? Tell me now. – I don’t know that. – I’m gonna toss to you across the room.
What are scissors and where are they? Tell me. – [Alexa] I’m not sure. – Okay. I’ll say it in the form of a riddle.
Where’s my scissors? I’m gonna buy a Google Home. – [Alexa] Are you trying to shop for Google Home? – (chuckles) No? I’m not.
– [Alexa] Alright. – Alright! (laughs) (sighs) Found my scissors. (upbeat music) Oh, I think I would look good with bangs. – [Alexa] Hm.
– No one asked you! Where you been hiding this craft? ♪ Alright ♪ ♪ Ooh baby just hold tight ♪ (liquid pouring) (lid clings) – I trusted you. – [Alexa] Hehe!
– Shut it! ♪ Oh the feeling is so ♪ – I agree. (chuckles) You can never be too flexible. Oh! Hey, Alexa?
Are you impressed? – [Alexa] Sorry, I’m not sure. – Right. You don’t have any legs. Got it.
Sorry! Cheater. Isn’t this the interview process to get into Hooters? Okay.
Evan’s juice is meh, okay?
Evan, my good man, may I partake in one of your sweet, sweet juice box beverages? (water pouring quietly) Hm? Hey, Evan, I think there’s something in your juice box. (laughing) And I think it could get hired at Hooters. You know me, I can’t resist my juice.
(air rushes) Joke’s on you, Evan. I don’t even know how I ’em behind my back. (impactful bumping) So, they’re not gonna be hearing any of this, right? Where are my scissor? If I put my arms under my legs, which shouldn’t be a problem, I’m very flexible.
Curse this dump truck! (laughs) I’m not worried. I got myself in this situation, so, (impactful bumping) It doesn’t work! I’m tied up. No, no, no.
(zip tie snapping) (sighs) I have somewhat of a zip tie rash. Let me try it the right way. You’re no help. Okay. Bad idea, I know, I heard it.
Oh, I got one good hip, now. How do I get out of zip ties? – [Alexa] Use a sharp object to carefully cut or snip the tie.
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